Candice Cameron Bure took heat last week for following certain people on social media. Not for agreeing with them, mind you. But just for “following” them. Turns out, she likes to hear many sides of an issue, so she follows people and has friends in real life who represent various political and cultural perspectives.
Bure is best known for her childhood role as D.J. Tanner on Full House, for her multiple Hallmark movies, for her Christian faith, and for her sibling, outspoken Christian apologist Kirk Cameron. And from 2015 to 2016 she was a cohost of the daytime talk show, The View, widely known for its liberal and, sometimes, even anti-Christian bias.
But her fans on the liberal side were ruffled when they learned that she followed Donald and Melania Trump on Instagram. They fussed that they were “disappointed” in her. That’s interesting, because she also follows President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris, and a host of other celebrities, politicians, and influencers who represent a diversity of viewpoints.
Why all the variety? Because, she says, it gives her “perspective.” Besides, following someone on social media doesn’t imply she agrees with them or endorses what they say. “I want to know what’s going on in the world,” she says. “I want to hear different sides of the argument. I follow people in entertainment that I don’t necessarily agree with or act the same way, but I want to hear what our society, what culture is dishing out.”
And she does it without arguing or shouting that opposing viewpoints should be cancelled. Frankly, that’s refreshing. And believe it or not, it is an explicitly Christian attitude that we can learn from.
In our polarized nation, everyone is straining to defend their beliefs. Why be fair and balanced when you can stay angry? And why just talk and listen when we can take sides? And let’s be honest, sometimes Christians are the worst. We frequently refuse to entertain a conversation with anyone who isn’t already on our side.
Why is that? I think that the main reason is simple—we’re no good at it. We have either cloistered away in our churches so long that we don’t know how to talk to anyone who isn’t just like us, or we’re afraid we won’t know what to say if they challenge our beliefs.
But here’s the problem. How can we fulfill God’s call to win the lost and live for Christ if we avoid contact with people we might disagree with, or if we refuse to engage people who are not like us?
So, don’t steer away from “following” or talking to people you might not agree with. But when you do, here are two keys to remember and one caution to consider:
- Know who to avoid, who to engage, and how to learn.
The Bible places specific parameters on who Christians spend time with, that is, who we “fellowship with.” In our day, these boundaries apply to social media. We are to avoid worshipping with those who worship false gods (1 Cor. 10:14-21), avoid forging alliances with unbelievers (2 Cor. 6:14), and distance ourselves from people who would drag us down into moral depravity or sin (1 Cor. 15:33).
In addition, the Bible warns Christians against associating with people who claim to be Christians but who are argumentative, who teach false doctrines, who are motivated by material gain, or who are simply practicing immorality (1 Tim. 6:2-11, 1 Cor. 5:11). So, there are clear parameters on who you associate with. But you’ll notice, these prohibitions are primarily against agreeing with Christians who are in the wrong or siding with those who will damage your walk with Christ.
And some people are just argumentative. Even Christians. Such arguing should be avoided. It is a waste of time and does a disservice to our relationships (1 Tim. 6:4-5).
On the other hand, the Bible doesn’t discourage us from talking with people who are not Christians or listening to people we may not always agree with. It shows respect and honor for them as a person, and it’s a good way to learn how to answer other viewpoints. As Bure wisely points out, “following” someone on social media is not the same thing as endorsing their ideas or worldview. And in real life, a conversation may not end in mutual agreement, but handled well, it may foster mutual respect.
- Stick to what matters most.
Keep your priorities straight. Politics in our nation has made us argumentative. But Christians have a higher priority. First and foremost, our job is not to win votes, win friends, or win an argument. Our priority is to win souls.
As soon as you became a Christian, you signed on for the higher, eternal purposes that God has for you. And you were enlisted in His commission to share and advance the Gospel of Jesus Christ (Matt. 28:16-20, Acts 1:8). See, when you live your life in the service of eternity, you have “perspective,” as Bure puts it.
That eternal perspective tunes your priorities. Focusing on God’s priorities prevents you from being petty and gives you courage and confidence in the face of opposition. As Paul says, “Reject foolish and ignorant disputes, because you know that they breed quarrels” (2 Tim. 2:23). You don’t need to worry about winning an argument. You only need to be concerned with pleasing God (Col. 3:1-4, 2 Cor. 5:9).
With that in mind, knowing people who disagree with you helps you learn what they believe, which, in turn, makes you a more effective servant of the Gospel. That’s why the Apostle Paul was so effective for Christ. He could easily engage secular audiences, quote poets and philosophers, and show how the Bible applied to everyone’s life (Acts 17:16-34). When you can do that without arguing about every little thing, you will impact relationships of all kinds.
But then, here’s one caution to consider:
- Be sure you know what you believe.
To be blunt, Christians frequently demonstrate a deplorable and shallow understanding of what biblical Christianity actually teaches. To stand firm in the truth, we have to know the truth in the first place.
Our lack of a biblical worldview makes us vulnerable to falsehoods, prone to make assumptions, fearful of confrontation, weak in our faith, worldly in our practice, and superficial in our answers to even the simplest questions. Why do we conflate politics with biblical Christianity? Why do we quote Oprah when we think we are quoting the Bible? Why do we get suckered into arguing about something that, in effect, is unbiblical and ultimately irrelevant? Because we don’t know what we believe, what the Bible really teaches, or what really matters most.
So before you engage with people who don’t think like you do or believe what you do, be sure you know what you truly believe. Intentionally study the Bible, enlist someone to disciple you and help you grow, and sit at the feet of qualified Bible teachers.
And you’ll find you can engage with people from every side of the aisle. And they will be better, and maybe even changed, because they met you.