According to psychologists, more than three in five Americans report feeling lonely, and that number has been rising. Zlatin Ivanov, MD, a New York-based psychiatrist, says that, even in the best of circumstances, “Social isolation in most cases would bring the negative effect of loneliness, anxiety, and sometimes depression.” And social distancing during the pandemic has created the perfect hothouse for nurturing lonely, depressed people.
And now that we have reached the holidays, it might even get worse.
The CDC urged people not to travel at Thanksgiving this year, and more and more, state governments are tightening restrictions. Even so, many of us opted to meet outside, or accommodate meeting in other ways, just to see family or have a much-needed break from the stress and worry of 2020. But now, if Thanksgiving was a problem, Christmas may even be more so. The colder it gets the less likely meeting outside will be an option to facilitate families and friends getting together.
The CDC’s advice is understandable. But knowing it is understandable doesn’t make is less painful. For most of us, the holidays are the only time we see some of our family members. And not traveling may very well mean that we are alone during the holidays, stuck with little else but to feel the isolation that presses in on us.
Maybe that’s you. Maybe you find yourself missing family, isolated at the holidays, feeling alone. But such isolation and loneliness are not new. In fact, it is so common, we find people in the Bible suffering from the same sense of isolation and depression. And that’s when God shows up.
You may remember an Old Testament prophet named Elijah. He was fiercely dedicated to God, and in those days that meant standing your ground against the stark opposition of people who worshipped false gods, especially a fertility god named Baal.
Chief among Elijah’s opponents was Queen Jezebel. She had manipulated her husband, King Ahab, into transforming the land of God’s people into a landscape dotted with Baal shrines and similar outlets for worship of false deities. She was, in no small terms, Elijah’s worst enemy.
And then in a pivotal event recorded in 1 Kings 18, Elijah challenged the prophets of Baal to a showdown on Mt. Carmel. The bet—they pray to Baal and he prays to God. And the deity that is the real deal will answer by raining fire on an altar and roasting the sacrifice. In short, Elijah won, and his altar was consumed with fire of such intensity that it licked up the water used to soak the altar and the sacrifice. Amazed and humbled, the people worshiped the true God, and under Elijah’s orders, they slaughtered the prophets of Baal.
Enraged, Jezebel vowed to kill Elijah. The prophet wilted. He was disillusioned, disheartened. And the prophet who had just orchestrated a resounding victory against God’s opponents, and who had just seen God show up in a literal blaze of glory, ran for his life.
He fled through the wilderness of Palestine and into the depths of Judea. Isolated and alone, he prayed that God would take his life. He was tired, and he was feeling the strain of being the only one who believed in and followed God. At least, that’s what he thought.
See, isolation tends to twist our perspective. So God addresses that first. To battle our isolation and the feelings that contribute to it we need a fresh dose of truth.
Here’s what to remember when you are isolated and alone:
- Isolation tends to make everything look worse than it really is.
After a pitstop, where an angel miraculously fed the forlorn prophet (1 Kings 19:5-8), Elijah walked forty days and nights to a place called Mt. Horeb, a location associated with God’s appearances in ancient times. And that was the plan. Elijah needed a fresh perspective, and the best way for him to get that was a fresh encounter with God.
The Bible says that as soon as Elijah arrived, God spoke to him. “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
And he replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God of Armies, but the Israelites have abandoned your covenant, torn down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they are looking for me to take my life” (1 Kings 19:10).
Have you ever noticed that when we blend together our isolation with discouragement and add a pinch of disillusionment, all we see are the bad things? And, like Elijah, we tend to hint that it is God’s fault. We do that because we focus on what’s physically in front of us. Our problems. Our isolation. Our loneliness.
But God adjusts Elijah’s perspective. He reminds Elijah that he is not alone in this. That there are plenty of people who know God and serve God and who side with Elijah in this battle with Jezebel and Baal worship (1 Kings 19:18). No, it is rarely as bad as all that. Don’t let your isolation dictate what you believe about God and about yourself.
That’s why the Bible reminds us to “set your mind on the things above, not on earthly things” (Col. 3:2). That helps you keep God’s perspective.
And, remember, there are plenty of people who are isolated in this season of Christmas, plenty of people who do not get to do what they want to do. The question is, how does your faith in God shape the way you respond? How is your response different, your perspective different, from the person who has no relationship with God at all?
- Isolation gives us a greater chance to meet with God.
Isolation fosters an invalid assumption. That is, that we are actually alone.
The turning point of the story comes when God commands the wilted, self-pitying prophet, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the Lord’s presence” (1 Kings 19:11). He does, and then, “At that moment, the Lord passed by. A great and mighty wind was tearing at the mountains and was shattering cliffs before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was a voice, a soft whisper” (1 Kings 19:12).
And God spoke in the whisper.
Elijah had fallen into the same trap many of us do. He wanted God to do what he wanted God to do, and he had forgotten that a relationship with God is not forged in the flash and the flare, not in the sensationalism of beaming lights and loud instruments, not at Mt. Carmel where the fire rains.
A relationship with God is forged at Mt. Horeb. Away from the distractions, away from the mess, away from the Jezebels, and away from the idols of the age. A relationship with God is forged in that place where we meet with God and accept His perspective on us, and on our situation.
You may not have wanted your isolation this year. You wanted to see family and you wanted a Christmas without Covid. God knows that. But here is the question we all face. Would you rather have it your way, or would you rather be with God?
See, being isolated is only a problem when you forget that, after all, isolation is not the same thing as being alone. You are never alone (Deut. 31:8).
God is there with you. And who knows, if you listen close enough, He might have something to say.