Ah. Valentine’s Day. Love is everywhere. And so is loneliness.
And if you feel lonely in the season of love, ironically, you are not alone.
Researchers say that one out of ten Americans say they feel isolated and alone all or most of the time. In 2017 former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy called loneliness a “growing health epidemic.”
And in the UK loneliness is so prevalent that the government now has a Minister of Loneliness, a position held by Tracey Crouch. Since she began her job in 2018, she has met with lawmakers from other countries trying to tackle the problem of isolation and loneliness among their own populations.
According to Stephanie Cacioppo, director of the Brain Dynamics Lab at the University of Chicago Pritzker School of Medicine, “Being lonely increases the risk of dying earlier by 26 percent, which is actually more than obesity,” Cacioppo says. “Loneliness is widespread and contagious.” And she echoes others in the medical field, “It is an epidemic.”
So she proposes an answer. Medication.
Of course, she doesn’t mean that medication is the cure for loneliness. Instead, she advocates medication to help with the feelings attributed to isolation. So she is researching an anti-depressant that she hopes will prevent at-risk individuals from experiencing chronic loneliness. But Cacioppo is clear, “A quick-fix might be helpful” in certain cases, such as “if it’s going to prevent a suicide.” But, she cautions, “it is in no way a substitute for healthy social connections.”
This month is especially tough. Cacioppo notes that feelings of loneliness increase during certain times of the year, like Valentine’s Day, when we “have the biggest societal expectations.”
But not feeling connected at peak times is not the only trigger for those feelings of loneliness. Doctors also instruct that financial stress, living alone, unhappy family life and a lack of communal bonds are among the leading causes of loneliness.
And, of course, social media. While mostly helping us feel a sense of community, social media also leads to higher risks of depression and feelings of isolation, especially at times like Valentine’s Day, when it seems everyone else is getting flowers but you.
So one avenue toward less loneliness around Valentine’s is to cut back on social media. That might seem counterintuitive, but it might be wise. “Social media tried to promote social gathering but in reality it might increase the feelings of loneliness,” Cacioppo said. “It all depends how we use it.”
Good advice. But what else do you need to know to help you overcome loneliness during this season when you may be prone to feeling isolated? Here are three things to know, and three things to do:
Three things to know:
First, you were designed for a relationship with your Creator. Every person has a yearning to know the One who made them, and to be in right relationship with Him. God knows this, and, deep inside, so do we (Matt. 22:36-40). No other relationship can adequately replace your relationship with your God, so address that first. God made a way to regain and restore that relationship through Jesus Christ (John 3:16, John 14:23). And your relationship with Him impacts all your other relationships—including with yourself.
Second, we were made for companionship and relationships. No substitutes will do, no matter how many “friends” you think you have on social media. We were made for real, solid, messy relationships with people who are actually present in our lives. Without those relationships, we lack one of the most basic ingredients to being human (Gen. 2:18).
And third, remember that feeling lonely is not the same thing as being alone. As Cacioppo wisely notes, “being alone is not necessarily synonymous with being lonely.” Don’t let your feelings mask what is true—God cares about you, and so do other people (Josh. 1:9). Focus on what is fact, what the Bible says is true, and not just how you feel (Ps. 139:17-18)
So, now, what can you do about those feelings of loneliness?
Three things to do:
Reach out and engage with other people. Real, present people. Not just those on social media.
Recognize if you are struggling with deeper issues. Is depression creeping in? Watch out for thoughts of worthlessness or that voice that lies and tells you that no one cares. When that happens, call your pastor or a friend and seek help if you need to.
And, most important, Reconnect with God. He loves you and cares for you. In fact, He wrote you a valentine, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore, I have continued to extend faithful love to you” (Jer. 31:3).
See? You are never alone.
And never unloved.
http://time.com/5248016/tracey-crouch-uk-loneliness-minister/
https://www.foxnews.com/health/scientist-researches-pill-to-combat-loneliness-epidemic