For me, I was around 50. I suddenly realized that more highway was behind me than out front, more life lived than yet to go. Maybe I had just been running too fast to notice how far I had traveled, but nevertheless, I paused the pace and soaked it in.
This realization is so common, we have a name for it—a mid-life crisis.
Dartmouth College professor David Blanchflower conducted an extensive study that suggests that it makes no difference where you live, your age has a lot to do with your sense of well-being. In his report, released last week, he examined 132 trends to compare the relationship between well-being and age. He concluded that a person’s well-being reaches its mid-point, that is, its biggest dip, around middle age. Those trends were then surveyed among 500,000 Americans and Europeans. According to the study, the majority of people found themselves to be the “most miserable” they would be around 47 years old.
Hence, a midlife “crisis.”
And maybe that’s you right now. And such a crisis can be compounded by depression, worry, or guilt for past failures. But middle-aged or not, occasionally we realize that life is not going as we thought it would, and that can be, well, unsettling. Maybe you find yourself surveying the wreckage of a life poorly lived, or disappointed in the life you didn’t live, or regretting missed opportunities, wasted time, or bad decisions.
If so, take another look. Especially if you are at that mid-point. Because, the fact is, this doesn’t have to be a crisis, or herald your demise, or generate disappointment.
Instead, this can signal your best season yet. A turning point. A launch-point. A chance to do the best thing you will ever do. To recover, regroup, start over. Because it doesn’t matter what happened so far. It’s what you do next that matters.
The Apostle Paul wrote the letter to the Philippians when he was in his fifties. That’s right. And he was in prison in Rome when he wrote it. If anyone had the right to be miserable, it was him.
Instead, he looked around, surveyed his life, and wrote an intimate letter that leaves us with a biblical perspective on the things that truly matter. When we assess our lives from the platform of biblical truth, it pulls us from the mire of self-pity and prepares us for the next season God has for us.
Having a mid-life crisis? Here’s what you need to do:
Remember the people: “I give thanks to my God for every remembrance of you” (1:3). Life isn’t about accomplishments, awards, or stuff. It’s about people. Affirm the relationships that have influenced you, especially in your walk with Christ. Thank God for those people who have shaped your life in a positive way, who share the same values you do and who fight your causes alongside you. Be grateful for those people who stick close, even when you think you’re not worth it.
Reflect on God’s promise: “I am sure of this, that he who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (1:6). God isn’t finished with you. It’s just that simple. His objective is to make you more like Christ. So steady yourself. God loves you and never leaves you.
He knows how you got where you are and He knows where He wants to take you. And He knows what to do with the threaded luggage you brought along on the trip—the problems and bad decisions and sins. He loves you too much to quit now.
Refresh your perspective: “Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus” (2:5). If you are living your life for yourself, you will always be miserable. If you are following Christ and living your life in His service and for the service of others, you will experience the peace, the purpose, and the impact that Christ has for you.
Reassess your priorities: “I don’t say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I find myself” (4:11). Could it be that you thought by now you would have more money, more time, more kids? A spouse, your dream job, your dream house? So here’s the question, where are your priorities in life, your pursuits that take up your time and resources?
Contentment comes in life—any time in life—through a healthy relationship with Christ. Make that your priority, and let God worry about the rest.
And last, Recommit to God’s purpose: “I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus” (3:14). Maybe the path behind you is littered with missed opportunities or bad decisions. No worries. God has a plan and a purpose for you. And for the follower of Christ, it doesn’t end here. God’s goal for you is a life well-lived now in the light of eternity.
Ask Him to forgive you for the path behind and trust Him for the road ahead.
Perhaps Paul’s most famous line from the letter to the Philippians sums up what our perspective should be at mid-life, “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (1:2). Serving Christ is a win-win.
So, having a mid-life crisis? Look ahead, trust God, and start serving Christ again. It’s what you do next that matters