April has been designated Stress Awareness Month since 1992, a result of research on the effects of stress that dates back to the 1970s. Good to know. But if there were ever an April that we didn’t need to be reminded of our stress, this would be it.
The good news is that this month you can find lots of practical advice to help you cope with stress, and much of it will help while you are cooped up “social distancing” from other people. Nearly all of it is good advice, much of it biblical, and most of it unsurprising. Like, don’t worry about stuff you cannot control (Matt. 6:25-34), get lots of exercise and eat right (1 Cor. 6:19), and learn to relax and focus on positive things (Prov. 12:25).
And, of course, spend time with friends and people who encourage you (1 Thess. 5:11). But how do we do that in the era of “social distancing”? Well, there’s that.
“Social distancing” stresses us in fresh ways. And many of us are surprised by a new stressor, an emotional strain we did not see coming.
The stress of isolation.
So it is important to make a choice while you are whittling away your time alone. That is, seek solitude rather than succumb to isolation. Here’s what I mean.
Isolation can be painful and unpleasant. When we are isolated, outside contact is eliminated. Isolation tends to push us to focus on the negative, to imagine the worst. We worry about scenarios we cannot control. And if our isolation continues, we may avoid people who can set us straight. Isolation causes us to look inward and twists our view of reality (Prov. 18:1).
For that reason, isolation can be detrimental to those who struggle with mental illness or anxiety. They are already at war with their own mindset. And at times, the battle isn’t going well.
“Social distancing” can be confused for isolation. Avoid that confusion. Instead, choose to see time alone differently, and to use it wisely. Rather than be isolated, seek solitude.
Solitude is a practice, not a punishment. Solitude is the decision to take time away, to be with God, alone, in the quiet (Matt. 6:6). In solitude we often connect more with God than anywhere else, and that prepares us for the struggles we face. In fact, solitude often improves our mindset, helping us stay focused on who God is, deepens our trust in Him, and even strengthens our personal relationships.
Jesus acknowledged this distinction by the way He sought solitude but avoided isolation.
The Bible frequently pictures Jesus seeking solitude. Just one of many examples depicts him rising early to spend time in prayer (Luke 5:16). For Jesus, solitude was intentional and habitual. The purpose was time with God. It’s hard not to notice. He wouldn’t go without it (Luke 6:12-13).
But at the same time, Jesus avoided isolation, and He knew the difference. And perhaps no place shows better how Jesus practiced solitude and avoided isolation than one of the most unsettling scenes in his life, a scene that captures our attention around Easter—His prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane.
“Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he told the disciples, ‘Sit here while I go over there and pray.’ Taking along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. He said to them, ‘I am deeply grieved to the point of death. Remain here and stay awake with me.’ Going a little farther, he fell facedown and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will’” (Matt. 26:36-39).
Did you notice? Jesus sought solitude, but He avoided isolation. He brought His friends with Him. And when He went to a place of solitude, He departed from them, but He kept them nearby.
The point is simple. If Jesus sought solitude, but He avoided isolation, shouldn’t we do the same?
So while you are “social distancing,” or even living under the order to “shelter in place,” remember:
- Avoid isolation
Connect with people. We need each other (Prov. 27:17). Meet up online, talk on the phone. Take walks—six feet apart. But don’t disconnect. God made us to have companions in this life, so it’s unhealthy for us to be isolated from others (Gen. 2:18).
And pay attention to your thoughts and your mental health. Pursue wisdom, good mental health, and accountability (Rom. 8:6). There are few times that a friend is more important than in a crisis (Prov. 17:17). And remember this, too. Whether you suffer isolation, God never leaves you. Just because you feel isolated doesn’t mean you are alone (Jer. 29:13).
- Seek solitude
Turn this time of “social distancing” into moments of healthy solitude. Create new habits. Turn off the TV and stay off Facebook for a while. Time with God should be intentional, focused, relational (Mark 1:35). Imagine if you emerge from this crisis refreshed in your relationship with God, strengthened by His presence and enjoying His companionship even more. “But as for me, God’s presence is my good. I have made the Lord God my refuge, so I can tell about all you do” (Ps. 73:28).
When you feel anxious, rest in His presence. When you worry if this crisis will end, let Him nurture your faith. When you are threatened with unhealthy thoughts, saturate yourself in His Word. Be like Jesus and avoid isolation but seek solitude, “casting all your anxieties on Him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).