In college, it was the class everyone needed, but nobody wanted. “Public Speaking.” We studied great orators and their styles, the basics of preparing a speech, and those all-important points of speaking etiquette that would help us engage our audience while always respecting them, even when we disagreed.
And we collected up little 3×5 cards, engraved them with tiny notes, and steeled ourselves for that day that we knew was coming. It was the reason for the class. We would give a speech, of course. How could you learn “public speaking” if you didn’t give a speech?
And so that time came. For some students it was energizing, exhilarating, exciting. Like a summer drive with the top down in a convertible Corvette. For others it was like peddling through the Fifth Circle of Hell on a banana seat Schwinn. But we did it. And we were proud. We emerged trained orators, ready to tackle any moment in life when “public speaking” would suddenly be necessary and to engage a challenger with civility and respect.
As long as we had 3×5 cards, that is.
That was then. This is now.
The practice of skilled public speaking, though still vital and influential, has yielded to the social media age. It is as if a storming giant has broken through the barricades of common sense, has destroyed that great citadel called etiquette, and has pillaged the inner rooms of civility.
In a republic like ours, where freedom of speech is a core value, political discourse reflects public discourse. And right now, it’s not pretty. If you don’t like the way politicians behave on public platforms, whether in auditoriums or on Twitter, remember—they are us.
It seems no one can tell the difference anymore between what really matters and what just springs to mind. And everyone is making speeches. From the profound and wise, to the mundane and banal, to the profane and vulgar.
Social media deludes us into believing that just because we want to say something, we should. And that something worth saying can be said and fully debated in short spurts, without any reference to such menial things like common sense, respect, research, context, civility, or forethought. Now the core values of public discourse are sensationalism and haste. Whoever says it loudest, first, and with the most bravado or sensationalism wins the audience.
And in a society founded on the free expression of ideas, nothing could be worse than trivializing the power of words. A nation that values freedom of speech will not survive without an inherent respect for our fellow citizens, a healthy respect for the impact of words, and a profound desire to speak well when we speak freely.
And that, I believe, is where Christians come in. Anytime I reflect on the genius of our Founders, I become more and more convinced that they established a nation that assumed the core worldview would be a biblical worldview, and that Christians would guard the gates of civil discourse.
God is about words. He invented them, uses them, and He warns of their misuse.
So as Christians, respect for words and how we use them is a matter of obedience. But occasionally we need reminders—otherwise, the Bible wouldn’t bring it up.
As you participate in social media and public discourse, here are eight ways you can be civil, speak freely, and at the same time honor God:
Be gracious. “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person” (Col. 4:6).
Be precise and concise. Imprecision is the fuel that ignites misunderstanding and arguments. “The one who guards his mouth protects his life; the one who opens his lips invites his own ruin” (Prov. 13:3). Jesus said simply, “But let your ‘yes’ mean ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’ mean ‘no.’ Anything more than this is from the evil one” (Matt. 5:37). His point was to avoid elaborating. Elaborating leads to false or inflammatory claims. The more you say, the more likely you are to say the wrong thing, say something untrue, or just make matters worse.
Be encouraging. “Pleasant words are a honeycomb: sweet to the taste and health to the body” (Prov. 16:24). Why tear down when you can build up?
Be clean. Avoid profanity, innuendo, or crass language. Your use of language should illustrate your life in Christ, not your connection to the world. “But now, put away all the following: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and filthy language from your mouth” (Col. 3:8)
Be slow to respond. Think before you post or reply. If you are angry, take a breath, and wait a while to respond. “A person’s insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook an offense” (Prov. 19:11). “The one who guards his mouth and tongue keeps himself out of trouble” (Prov. 21:23).
Be inspiring. Lift someone up. Share something good. Be proactive in changing the discourse on social media. “A word spoken at the right time is like gold apples in silver settings” (Prov. 25:11).
Be wise. Know what matters and use social media to influence positive change. “Who among you is wise and understanding? By his good conduct he should show that his works are done in the gentleness that comes from wisdom” (James 3:13).
And be truthful. Truth is precious. And Christians are the guardians of truth. Thoughtful honesty honors the Lord, is still respected in culture, and gives you more opportunity to be heard. “Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue, only a moment” (Prov. 12:19). “Therefore, putting away lying, speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, because we are members of one another” (Eph. 4:25).
If we want public discourse in our nation to improve, it starts with us. We get what we tolerate and what we create. So here’s a question—how would practicing these simple biblical truths change the way you behave on social media?
“If it feels good saying it, you should keep it to yourself” was something I heard often from an early mentor. Also being intentional to Be slow to respond, has kept me from a great deal of trouble. I enjoyed your post.
Awesome! I like that advice for your mentor as well. Thanks for the kind support!