The Respect for Marriage Act (RMA) passed both the US Senate and the House. Soon, no doubt, the President will sign it into law.

What is the RMA?

The RMA codifies the Supreme Court’s 2015 ruling in Obergefell v. Hodges and, in short, requires same-sex marriages to be legally recognized in every state. The RMA also “repeals and replaces provisions that define, for purposes of federal law, marriage as between a man and a woman.” That is, the RMA voids the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act.

The issues are clear. Will this infringe on religious liberty? Will Christian landlords, Christian businesses, churches, and pastors be compelled to comply with the RMA? And, if the law recognizes a couple’s union as a marriage, does that mean it qualifies as a biblical marriage?

Some Christians support the RMA

Some Christians support the RMA.

For instance, David French of The Dispatch claims that the RMA “represents the best compromise” he has seen to protect both religious freedom and “the rights and dignity of all Americans.” 

Writing in Christianity Today, former professor of law Carl Esbeck agrees. In his view, “in a morally pluralistic society, a few concessions yield a win for the common good.” Like French, he sees no reason to be concerned that the RMA will infringe on our basic right to religious liberty.

I disagree

Given the tendency of sinners in politics to erode basic rights rather than protect them, and given the aggressive agenda of the LGBTQ movement, I think French and Esbeck are at best naïve or at worst complicit.

After all, it took only 26 years for the federal government to scrap the Defense of Marriage Act and its definition of marriage.

And “a few concessions” on biblical truth rarely works out well for anyone who prefers to foster and apply a biblical worldview. Namely, Christians.

In addition, they ignore the impact this law will have on the work of a Pastor. In a wedding ceremony, a Pastor simultaneously represents both God and the state at the moment of the declaration, “I pronounce you husband and wife.”

So, if Church and State contradict one another in the definition of a marriage, eventually Christian Pastors who advocate for a biblical definition of marriage will either be forced to compromise their most basic beliefs or, more likely, to discontinue officiating weddings altogether.

What matters most for Christians

So, what is a marriage, anyway? How do we define it? What matters most for Christians is what the Bible says, not what the culture decides is legal. In fact, if history has taught us anything, it’s that something can be both perfectly legal and completely unbiblical at the same time—slavery, for instance.

So where is a good place to get a biblical understanding of the nature of marriage? What did God actually intend?

Few people define and defend God’s design for marriage more clearly that Jesus Himself. So let’s go there.

A confrontation on marriage

Matthew chapter 19 records a group of religious leaders confronting Jesus “to test him.” They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?”

Notice, they asked about divorce. But Jesus doesn’t answer their question directly. Instead, He defines marriage.

He replied, “Haven’t you read that he who created them in the beginning made them male and female, and he also said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

“Why then,” they pressed Him, “did Moses command us to give divorce papers and to send her away?”

“Moses,” Jesus said, “permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts, but it was not like that from the beginning” (Matt. 19:1-8).

What was marriage “from the beginning”?

Jesus declares God’s perspective on the institution of marriage. And according to Jesus, it’s God’s intention “from the beginning” that matters. And before we wrestle with the particulars of our situation in marriage, we need to understand God’s intention. Three principles apply:

  • God’s ideal is the created order

Jesus immediately invoked God’s ideal for the created order from the book of Genesis (Gen. 1:26-2:25). Why? Because God’s best for humanity is defined by the created order.

When we rationalize or legalize our personal ethics without reference to God’s design, we are defining life and society by a post-fall model rather than God’s ideal. And rather than embrace God’s best, we tend to discard or destroy it.

But God always reminds us that His best for us is our best. And that His best is reflected in the way He created us. That is His ideal.

No matter how personally satisfying or seemingly pleasurable our choices might be, if they do not align with God’s ideal, we will always fall short of our best, never being who God created us to be.

So, Christians should always remember. Our objective is to aspire to God’s ideal, and in Christ we can do that. When we define ourselves or our society by a post-fall model, we diminish our human nature.

  • Marriage is embedded in the created order

And God’s ideal for marriage is rooted in the created order. Or, as Jesus says, what God intended “from the beginning.”

Unlike other legal institutions, marriage was not an invention of human courts. The Creator designed it, and His design is required for creation to be complete.

Jesus reminds His listeners that as soon as God created humanity, He made marriage. God “made them male and female,” and then, immediately, God established that the “two would become one flesh.” (Notice, by the way, Jesus assumes that Adam and Eve were the first married couple.)

We cannot overstate this. For humanity to be healthy, the institution of marriage must be healthy. And for the institution of marriage to be healthy, society must aspire to God’s ideal for marriage as one man and one woman, preferably for life.

Human beings can no more survive without God’s intention for marriage than they can survive without water. Both are part of God’s design for the created order and are necessary for the health of the human race.

  • Laws do not always represent God’s ideal

Just because something is legal doesn’t mean it’s God’s ideal. Instead, civil laws often reveal our sinful condition or provide concessions that acknowledge our sinful condition.

Jesus’ detractors focused on reasons people could divorce. But Jesus advocated for God’s ideal in marriage.

God’s design for marriage did not include divorce. God permits divorce as a concession, not an ideal. He allows it to avoid circumstances worse than the divorce (see 1 Cor. 7).

The RMA redefines marriage “for purposes of federal law.” So be it.

But in doing so, the RMA acknowledges our sinful condition, not God’s ideal. God’s design has not changed. As defined in the created order, God’s design for marriage has always been between one man and one woman, preferably for life.

One more thing

Remember, in our sinful condition, in marriage and in life, we all falter and fall short of God’s ideal (Rom. 3:23). But when we admit that to Him, we find His forgiveness (Rom. 6:23).

Then we can once again seek His ideal. And that’s always best for us.

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Kelly Holden
Kelly Holden
1 year ago

Another great article that reflects a true Christian world view.

Greg White
Greg White
1 year ago

As always this is awesome. Thanks for all you do and what you stand for

Terry Elliott
Terry Elliott
1 year ago

You say: “No matter how personally satisfying or seemingly pleasurable our choices might be, if they do not align with God’s ideal, we will always fall short of our best, never being who God created us to be.” This is a profound truth, in all matters of life and faith. But certainly God’s explicit design for marriage, His revealing it to us, and His reinforcement of it by His Son– surely this should be clear to believers.